“Sergio, I want to express something…
I feel that we have not been spending a lot of time together. And that makes me terribly, terribly sad… I don’t feel that we are a happy couple”.
That’s how Ieva started this made-up conversation. What followed and the way I choose to respond made all the difference.
When your partner put together all her/his courage to express a strong feeling or when she/he simply cannot hold it anymore… either you act defensively or you make a choice to open up as well and consciously create a container of listening and empathy.
The two approaches draw opposite directions. One that is fruitless and causes a great deal of pain, and one that opens up possibilities for healing and mutual understanding.
When we dance tango, we experience the need for:
- Free expression
- Listening and feeling of your partner
- Non-judgemental approach
And we know it’s easier said than done.
In our latest podcast episode, Ieva and I attempted to model a dialog between partners that takes into account these qualities.
Watch it on YouTube below or wherever you listen to your podcasts.