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“Sergio… I don’t feel that we are a happy couple”

When your partner expresses a strong feeling, either you act defensively or you make a choice to open up as well and consciously create a container of listening and empathy.

“Sergio, I want to express something…
I feel that we have not been spending a lot of time together. And that makes me terribly, terribly sad… I don’t feel that we are a happy couple”.

That’s how Ieva started this made-up conversation. What followed and the way I choose to respond made all the difference.

When your partner put together all her/his courage to express a strong feeling or when she/he simply cannot hold it anymore… either you act defensively or you make a choice to open up as well and consciously create a container of listening and empathy.

The two approaches draw opposite directions. One that is fruitless and causes a great deal of pain, and one that opens up possibilities for healing and mutual understanding.

When we dance tango, we experience the need for:

  1. Free expression
  2. Listening and feeling of your partner
  3. Non-judgemental approach

And we know it’s easier said than done.

In our latest podcast episode, Ieva and I attempted to model a dialog between partners that takes into account these qualities.

Watch it on YouTube below or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

By Sergio Acosta

At heart, I am a story-teller. As a creative writer and designer, I tell stories on the web, on paper, and sometimes I scribble random lines on the dance floor.